Getting over the fear of failure and judgement

I have mentioned here before that I’m more of a planner than a producer. I’m all about the organising and planning to do the thing instead of actually doing the thing, and do you know why? Fear.

I get scared of doing the actual thing so I continuously plan and do things to lead up to the thing and then struggle to do the actual thing. I put things off because I’m scared. 

I should start a shop.. But what if people don’t buy my products? 

I should do a market.. But what if people ignore me, or worse say bad things about my stall?

I should do video Instagram stories… But what if people laugh at me? 

But what. But what. But what. 

The anxiety in my brain rules what I do, but I’ve been working on it. I started my shop almost a year ago today, I started talking openly about my work and sharing my art online for everyone to see. I signed up for my first ever market this year. I started a podcast with my friend over 2 years ago now just for fun, we don’t even care if anyone listens. Of course if people buy the art in my shop, or listen to my podcast that’s great but the point is I started these things despite the fact my brain was constantly thinking ‘but what’! 

And do you know what? People have bought my art and listened to my podcast!

It’s a learning curve

Not everyone is perfect, even though I did all those things there are probably 10 other things I haven’t done because my brain won. For example I haven’t done many video instagram stories yet because my brain won. The people who see my instagram stories probably wouldn’t laugh at all at my videos but I’m still anxious. 

In order to be successful you have to take risks. So if like me you’re fearful of the what if’s you need to take little steps to take risks. Plan and organise what you can control and learn to live with what you can’t control. You can’t control what others think of you, however you can choose who’s opinions you listen to. 

But I understand saying you want to do something and having your brain do that thing is another story. Telling your brain to ignore the opinions of those you don’t want to hear may be as useful as telling an untrained dog not to touch the treat on the floor. However, baby steps is key. That’s what I’m going to tell myself anyway. Everything takes time, especially if like me you’ve formed unhealthy thought habits that you want to undo.

I’m sorry

I don’t have any tips for you, other than to keep working on it. This post is to share my experience and let others know they’re not alone in constantly worrying and thinking ‘but what’ about the things they want to do.

Know that others more successful than you went through the same thing just twenty, thirty years ago. Everyone has to start from somewhere and your first try at something probably won't be excellent, but if you keep at it and work on it things will improve. You’ll get better and then you’ll feel more confident to start other things. At least that’s what I keep telling myself…

The greatest mistake you can make in life is to continually be afraid you will make one. – Elbert Hubbard

- Sophie

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